It’s amazing how much music can encourage us. In the midst of battle between divorce and spiritual darkness, God, my Abba, used music to show me light and reveal many of His Father-like aspects when I needed him most. To be completely wrapped up in God’s presence through worship brings about a joy and peace with only one explanation, the holiness and glory of the Lord.
Of all the nights filled with chaos and stress that my family and I endured, one night stands clearly in my mind. My dad was 1200 miles away, but it was as if he was standing there berating us, again. My mom, dad, and I fought during my entire trip in Florida. I fought with my mom about my dad. I fought with my dad about my mom. It was tireless fighting. Just to add to the stress, I was also trying to encourage and be strong for my brother and sister. I had to show them that I would protect them. I had to show them that I loved them. I felt like I was a boxer fighting in rounds that had no time limit with opponents that could not be knocked out. On this particular night, I thought I was the one that was going to lose. I thought I had become the weak boxer that was going to leave with a solemn, good-luck-next-time moral victory. I was mentally and emotionally drained. Constant discouragement had taken its toll on me. I felt like a sail boat caught in an ocean’s horrible, uncaring storm. I was under the control of its waves and winds. I thought I was forced to go wherever it desired. Fortunately, I thought wrong.
As I sat awake and lonely in front of the computer in an unsatisfying attempt to escape, I felt led to turn on one of the new Casting Crowns songs I had recently heard. The more I listened, the more I yearned for what I heard. The lyrics of “Praise You in this Storm” consumed me. My heart burst and praise flowed from my lips. I was praising loud. Any worry of some outsider listening in was carried away as I sang. I was unaware of anything that was going on around me. The more I worshipped my heavenly Father, the more I felt him. Comfort filled me. The thoughts and stress of the fights faded away through the tears that were now running down my cheeks. Everything that was built up inside was pouring out. I felt no more anger. I felt no more hatred. However, I felt a peace that I had never experienced before. A peace that did not come from friends, families, things, or any other false securities I had previously looked to. It was a peace that surpassed any understanding. A peace that could not be given to me through therapy sessions or a peace that I was supposed to get when people told me that time heals all things. It was a peace from the God that heals all things that he wills, including my undeserving but grateful heart on this very night.
As the song ended, all I could do was pray. I had such a deep hunger and longing for Jesus that the only filler was to cry out to Him. I prayed that He would take care of my family. I prayed that He would bring them comfort and peace like I felt. I praised Him for calming my storm. Oh how I needed him now. I prayed that He would continue to comfort me. I told Him that I would lean on Him in all my storms. I admitted that He was the only way for me to have any hope or joy in devastating situations. I thanked Him for what He had done for me that night. I prayed for forgiveness. I was a sinner that could do nothing without Him. I promised my obedience to Him. I begged for Him to never leave my side. I promised that I would always get up for Him, but I also admitted that the only way that I could get up is if he pulled me up. I thanked Him for His atonement that was completed at the cross. I gave praise and honor and glory to Jesus that I had not known before. I had a renewed appreciation and love for Him. He is absolutely amazing and the only one worthy of all my praise. He died for me even when I deserved death, eternal death. I will never be able to fully explain through words the worship I felt for Christ that night. I have never been the same.
God used that song to teach me countless life lessons for my walk with Him. That night, I learned what it meant to praise Christ and give him glory in the midst of suffering. I learned that even in the worst of storms, Jesus is and was there to guide me through them. I was never under control of the storm and its circumstances I saw in front of me. I learned that Christ knows the bigger picture. Wherever the storm landed my ship was where he ordained it to. He was in control of the storm! The storm was at His mercy. Its seemingly uncaring wind and waves were under the control of God’s just, loving, and perfect will. I knew that regardless of where I landed, God was sovereign and that is where He wanted me to be in an emotional and physical sense. I learned to trust God no matter what. My worship was changed. I was not afraid to cry out to God in the horrendous things and the fantastic things. I had no idea that God could use a song such as “Praise You in this Storm” could bring me such passionate worship, praise, and life lessons that God showed me.
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